What to speak..What to blog!! ??

I feel like a person who is standing on the top of a mountain..silently looking at the massive audience.. full of the desire to speak...full of energy...but unable to decide where to start from? unable to give priority to the mental contents..unable to give the very first push....Its been so long that i am here on the blogosphere but cant post anything cause i dont know where to start from.. no idea at all... completely confused

I want to speak..I want to type..I want to see my ideas , my thoughts turning into words through my typing fingures..but then which idea..?? which thought?? Sharing life becomes too much a trouble sometimes ... I guess i am not ready...I want to share things but i am afraid ..of whom??.. i dont know... or may be i am not afraid at all.. Perhaps i am having the same feeling which people usually have before going on a stage in front of an audience..I guess that is the most accurate representation of my position. I am just hesitating... and the only way i can overcome it , is ...by taking a start..

so here I go..with nothing preplanned in mind..i am sitting here in my office ..The official time is over..had been working on an assignment for quite sometime and now I am free a bit ..

but i am getting confused again.. What to write... Whih topic to chose..Should i go about my job..Should i go about my life..should i go about my friends... What to choose and why to choose that.. but then... since its just a start ..let me start with any random thing...

Let me start with my friends.. People i really cherish in my life.. Let me talk about bodi... Kashif Bhatti...Waqar Nabi.. Momin.. Dasa.. Alvi..Rizwan Pirzada..Saleem Gul.. Farhan..Noman.. Yasir.. My mother ,... Aman.. I start thinking and find that there are so many.. Names keep coming in mind.. they keep popping in..although many of them wont recognize me as their friend anymore as much time has passed since we were last in contact... but they remain in my thoughts as people who i once interacted with...and being somewhat unsocial i happen to have a very small circle of people around me..so my relationships become very precious for me..

I want to write about all my friends...and i know when i will write ..i will miss many.. but i must not let the fear of the effect stop me from writing about them..That is a hesitation that i have to overcome..

but hey!! whats the time?? Its 6:42..I have to catch my Taekwondo class at 7:30 ... joined it to reduce my weight..had been two months..and there is no different in that bulk of mass that I carry above my waistline... i guess all those people who were giving my advices on reducing my diet were right.. I should reduce more...i.e although i already changed it from "overdieting" to "enough dieting"...it needs to go one step below.. and that means a decrease in the revenue that Rahat Bakery is generating from my regular visits.. :)

bye..me getting late for my class..
will write again later..