Goodbye Princess

Princess was sold today. At a throw away price. I finally got rid of it.

Now that it has been sold, I feel like a very important stage of my life has passed.

but am i Happy??? Do you hear me say Yayyy!!!

No? you dont. Even i myself dont hear shouting with happiness. For some reasons I am not happy.

You know what. I have hated this car from the depths of my heart. I cursed it every time i had to ask people to give it a dhaaka. I cursed it every time i had to take Taxi leaving it on my flat in the morning. I cursed it every morning right after sitting on the driver seat because it always gave a dirty mark on my trouser - Actually, the distance between the steering and the driver seat is so little (or may be i am so fat) that while entering the car the steering touches my thighs and leaves a mark on my otherwise neat and clean trouser . Along with that it was always dirty from the outside as I used to wash it with the rain water and since it doesnt rain much in islamabad, it mostly remained dirty. (for those who didnt get it , i mean to say that i used to wait for rain to clean my car).I hardly ever saw it without that ever existing mud layer.

There were so many issue with this car .. and I so much wanted to sold it .. but today , when i have sold it , on a throw away price... I now feel sad.. very sad.. I have discovered something.... that somewhere during giving dhakas to this car, somewhere during cursing it for not starting up in the morning, somewhere during getting dirty by the its thick layer of mud, .. ..undeliberately ,...... unconsciously , .......unwillingly ..... i had fallen in love with it. . . I had actually started liking this non-living mechanical thing.

and i am very serious. I used to treat it like a human being. I guess i once tried to give it Reiki as well. i had a very strong connection with it which i realize now. It had become an important part of my life; a very important relationship for me. In life, our relationships with people get stronger when we share sufferings with them . This car had given me so many sufferings and I have shared so much of my sufferings with it that now i feel having a deep relationship with it.

I talked with Kashif and he told me that the way i feel is because i have lost an aim of my life. and i guess he is right. Those of you who are into Japanese Animes will be able to understand this concept. Going to the mechanic , cursing princess, trying to think the reasons for its kharabi - they had all become an integral part of my life. See my blog, every post mentions this car somewhere. Hey! i even wrote a poem on it.

Today i went to Rahat Bakery...I thought of that time few weeks back when i couldn't start the princess there..had to leave it there for the whole night. and then i started realizing that all the places i have been to in islamabad have a memory associated to this car.. Every road that i think of , reminds me of this car being pushed by a passerby with me sitting inside trying to start it on the 2nd gear. There are few speed breakers in this city that have become a land mark for me because of the impact that i got by driving princess on high speed over them.

These are all memories. Painful they were at the times they happened but now that they have turned into memories - Beautiful sweet memories - I really like them. Now i value them.

I guess all this life time that i spent with this car had some meaning for me.I am getting the meaning at the end of my relationship with it. I guess it teaches me that may be i am not cherishing the things in my life well.. There are things in our life that we take for granted. There are little things that are with us and we hate them for being there. Its their loss that tells us about their importance and what they really meant to us... The loss of the princess tells me that i need to start cherishing those things that i am taking for granted. Whats the use of complaining in life , when we can enjoy it with all it problems. Its a good lesson learnt.

Good bye princess!!! May you have a better life now.. Now that you will have someone better to take care of you.!!!

And hey Princess!! wish me luck too.. Cause i am going to have "someone" else in my life whom i will be taking care of with utmost care . Just 4 months remaining and then a new princess will be in my life.

The Loss of Bodi

I have a very shocking news. Bodi's (Umair Azfar) mother passed away a few days ago. He is coming to Pakistan to meet his family in Islamabad . He will probably reach here today.

Bodi has written a post on his great loss and you guys can give your condolences to him on this link.

Bodi became my friend in Giki. Was it starcraft or Nix (our common friend) that brought us closer ,i don't know but i have spent a lot of time with him while I was in Giki mostly discussing computer games . I used to be at the listening part with him. Later , these discussion evolved and we started talking more about my favorite topic of discussion i.e "me" . Bodi went to Finland some 2 years ago for having "Aaala Taleem" (reminds me of an essay on Quaid-e-Azam that i used to write in school). He has done his MS now and currently he is doing a job there .He still engages in discussions on my favorite topic with good zeal .You guys would have noticed his comments on my earlier posts. He is a very good friend of mine and the thought of his loss saddens me again and again.

I pray to Allah to shower his blessings on Umair's mother .May she find a perfect place in heaven.May Umair get the courage to bear his pain.

October 2007

Oct passed good. Starting with Teradata day , I had fun time whole month.

In Ramzan, I arranged a gathering of my gikian batch mates for an Iftar. It was my first ever administration of such kind of activity. and yeah i did mess up. I booked a table for 12 people nearly 2 days before the gathering at the Pappasallis Islamabad and when everybody reached there just before 5 minutes of Iftar, i was told by the receptionist that there was no reservation by my name. when i inquired , i found that the reservation was done in my name.. true!!!.. at the Pappasallis...true!!!....but at the Pindi branch. Stupid people!!! i was embarrassed in front of all the friends.. Anyways we went to Cafe Grind which is not as good but Khair! .While having food, I did get a few moments of regrets at times when i realized that every one around was either doing MS or PHD or had already done it.(Reminder! i am still just a bachelor - both professionally and maritally) but Khair, i guess i need to practice being dheet a bit more. .

On Eid , i bought my first Kurta ever on a special demand from my susral. I bought it from Junaid Jamsheed. It was pretty expensive , nearly 4000 Rs. Even my coat trouser suits are cheaper than that .Only the people at my susral had this chance to see me wearing that kurta as I didn't wear it anywhere else, fearing it will get dirty.

And yaaaay!! i did advance level course of the Art of living in the end of Oct (last weekend) .For this course, I stayed at a spiritual retreat , Bani Gala ( a place near islamabad raval lake) , for 4 days with the members of Art of living. The course was lead by a lovely lady from India and was attended by nearly 20 people. While there , we woke up early in the morning each day to do yoga before the breakfast . Rest of the day we performed some house chores (cutting vegetables, cleaning etc) , did meditations and had some good lectures. We had a silence meditation in which we remained silent for some 2.5 days. It was amazing . I learnt many kool things there.The stay was at a place from where we could see the lake all the time. It was a lovely experience. I didn't lose any weight during this level of the course. How could I , the food was so tasty there. They had all non-meat food and it used be so tasty that i couldn't stop myself from over-eating . All the people there were really nice and friendly (like me) . Since my return from bani gala, my sleep routine seems getting better. Now sometimes i feel some energy at the base of my spine. I hope it is what i think it is.

and yay! Peshawar Motorway was finally inaugurated last week.[news] Today, I came islamabad through this new motorway in the morning. Its 1 hour 30 minutes from Peshawar toll Plaza to Islamabad toll Plaza if you are driving nearly 110-120 km per hour. Thats kool.

I have been working too much for the past few days (thats why there has been no post).I am on a bad project again. Again late sittings with no acknowledgments but whatever ! my life is going all good and chill. I watched the indian movie "jab we met" and was impressed by the concepts of the heroine of the movie.

Ok me goes now, to see what the CNG mechanic has done with my car. Princess is still around... .